8. Six Weeks Later - Life Got Busy

So, 6 weeks has gone by, and I haven’t posted once. A far cry from the 3 per week I was doing previously. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it; in fact, I’ve thought about it heaps. I added it to my tasks, set reminders both in my written journal, and have skipped multiple calendar prompts reminding me to do it for the last 6 weeks. So, what’s been happening? I started working full time again, and punching out some big hours. Construction always seems to be that way, I guess that’s why the pay is decent. The last 6 weeks have followed a similar routine: Wake up at 4:00, trade cricket for an hour and a half, get dressed, put a pot of tea on for the missus, pack my lunches, and out the door at 6:00-6:15. From there, go to work until I finish at about 5:00, and then home close to 6:00pm. At night, I’ll research my NRL markets or some upcoming cricket. But there’s no rules, rhythm, or consistency to this. My once perfectly set-up research station with laptop, pen, and paper has devolved into me just scrolling through my phone in my pyjamas on the couch. I’m typically someone who thrives with routine, so it hasn’t been good.

Before starting this blog, I knew I was going back to work fulltime and trying to write this. Hence 'The Traders Journey,' documenting the very journey of full-time work, to seeing how we go trading. This was the entire purpose. What I wasn’t prepared for was being tired, particularly, mentally drained. I just assumed I’d skip into a new job, finish work at 5, and after being 12 hours door to door that I’d have the energy to complete a workout for an hour, come home, have dinner, and then bash out a blog post and conduct some research. How wrong was I? Instead, I find myself leaving work, driving past the gym and telling myself I’ll start tomorrow, eating dinner, having the world’s hottest shower, and flopping on the couch fighting to stay awake. Soft, I know. But the reality is, is that I have to improve and acknowledge that this IS the GRIND. This is the fun part. This is what I’ll get to look back on in 5 or 10 years and go, 'Shit, I’m glad I did that'. The scary part is, is I don’t have kids yet, and I know this is going to form part of the picture going forward. How the hell do real adults do this? I’m exhausted just working, eating and watching sport. How do the real adults do that, and then on top of that, fit in workouts, look after kids, and pack in even more? It’s fascinating.

Anyway, enough rambling about my lack of doing anything correctly for the last 6 weeks. Whilst I have been soft, I still will try and find some positives. I’ve started a new job, and whilst construction isn’t new to me, getting used to new systems, new file layouts, new methods of building things, and new people has taken some mental effort. I knew it would, but foolishly thought that it wouldn’t have the mental strain on me that it did. Now that I’m a bit more comfortable, I feel like I have a bit more mental energy by the time I come home to hopefully commit to this blog, and better research and more diligent betting.

So, let’s get into the crux of it. How have I gone since coming back? The answer's mixed. I started off slow, turning money over, then went on an unbelievable run, before having an unbelievably poor run. Who’s to blame? Well, me. I’ve placed a lot of bets which is the easy part, but I have done nowhere near the level of research I previously have. I’ve done nowhere near the journaling and focusing on the mental game as previously as I have done. So, in saying that, I’d say I’m slightly up, but I’m lucky to be. There’s been big wins, big losses, and a definite disregard for process and discipine. I gave up the tracking a few weeks ago, and know roughly by looking at account balances. But once again, this isn’t the way I want to move forward. I want to be focused, I want to be dialed in, and I need to be far more disciplined when attempting to make something out of this. For the purpose of this blog, I’m going to start my tracking sheet again from scratch. I need a clean start. Whilst I know I’m up a small amount, the hours involved for backdating each bet is probably best spent looking forward towards the future and ensuring the next ones are good ones. So, from now, I’ll try my best to do what’s realistic: a small preview for NRL, and a post on a Sunday night to review the week that was, and what I learned.

Beyond the immediate, I'm already looking ahead to the Big Bash season. That's going to be a key medium-term goal for me, a challenge to really build some solid habits, break these recent bad ones, and stay accountable to the process. More on that, and the specific plan, in the next post.